♪♪♪
AW!
LOOK AT THEM, ALL NERVOUS.
I REMEMBER WHEN I INTERVIEWED TO BE YOUR ASSISTANT.
(mouth full) SO THAT'S THE GROUP H.R. SENT ME, HUH?
KIND OF A MOTLEY LOOKING GROUP. I ONLY TALKED TO THEM FOR A LITTLE WHILE,
BUT I REALLY LIKE GAVIN.
WHICH ONE'S HE?
(sighs) I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS INTERVIEW TODAY.
I'M STARTING TO FEEL QUEASY.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE EATING CHOCOLATE-COVERED PRETZELS
FOR BREAKFAST. THANKS. I WOULD'VE EATEN THE WHOLE BAG.
WHOO! (chuckles) SEE?
WHICH ONE OF THOSE GOOBERS IS GONNA DO THAT FOR ME? HEY!
NOT TOO LONG AGO, I WAS ONE OF THOSE GOOBERS.
ALL RIGHT. PROMISE ME YOU'RE GONNA PICK SOMEONE GOOD. I PROMISE.
GOOD. NOW DO YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE?
ACTUALLY... FACT-CHECKING?
I KNOW YOU'RE SWAMPED. COME ON. WHAT KIND OF EDITOR WOULD I BE
IF I COULDN'T DO A LITTLE FACT-CHECKING?
ADD IT TO MY PILE.
ALL OF IT BY 2:00?
NO PROBLEMO.
(thud) WOW.
THAT'S A LOT OF RED INK, BUT I'M HAPPY TO REDO IT.
JAPANESE TO ENGLISH? (sighs)
I LOOK FORWARD TO THE CHALLENGE.
(Amanda) WOW. LOOK AT THAT GIANT PILE.
I KNOW! AND IT'S CARRYING ALL THOSE PAPERS. (chuckles)
IGNORING AND RISING ABOVE. (sighs)
WHAT'S WRONG, BETTY? NOW THAT YOU'RE A BIG FANCY EDITOR,
YOU DON'T EVEN TALK TO THE LITTLE PEOPLE? OH, I'M SORRY.
I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER YOUR LOUD SHIRT. (both gasp)
DID YOU JUST-- FASHION-SMACK BY SUAREZ-- UNEXPECTED.
UNLIKE YOU, BETTY, I LOOK GREAT IN JEWEL TONES.
WHAT'S WITH THE 'TUDE? WELL, I'VE TRIED BEING NICE TO YOU,
BUT SINCE MY PROMOTION,
ALL YOU DO IS INSULT ME AND SABOTAGE ME,
SO I'M DONE WITH YOU. (thud)
I REALLY LIKE THIS SIDE OF HER. DO YOU MIND?
OW! OH, UH...
SORRY. NO, NO, NO. IT'S MY BAD.
BUT HERE--HERE, LET ME HELP.
(papers rustling)
OH! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD ANY, UH...
FEATURE IDEAS FOR THE NEW YORK ISSUE?
WHAT, YOU MEAN, LIKE, TO WRITE AN ARTICLE? UH, YEAH.
UNLESS YOU'RE TOO BUSY WITH-- OH, NO! NO, I-I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE AN ARTICLE.
ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS CONCEPT ABOUT
THE UNSUNG HEROES OF NEW YORK-- PEOPLE WHO DO THE TOUGHEST JOBS,
AND WE COULD SHOWCASE THEIR UNIFORMS FOR A FASHION ANGLE.
"NEW YORK'S TEN MOST THANKLESS JOBS."
SOUNDS PERFECT. REALLY?
MM-HMM.
WOW. THANKS. OKAY, GREAT. WELL... (chuckles)
I'LL... I'LL GET TO WORK. OH, AND, UH, MATT?
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT WE...
YOU KNOW. YEAH, ME, TOO.
OH, HEY, MATT. I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIRCUT.
IT JUST LOOKS SO HEALTHY. IT MAKES ME WANT TO PULL IT.
(chuckles) ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T GET A HAIRCUT! OW.
WOW. THAT KIND OF HURTS. THANK YOU.
BYE.
OH, MY GOD, MANDY. YOU WERE, LIKE, FIVE SECONDS AWAY
FROM FLIPPING HIS OMELET RIGHT HERE ON THE DESK.
(inhales deeply and whispers) YOU LOVE HIM. PLEASE.
HE'S TAINTED. KISSING HIM WOULD BE LIKE KISSING BETTY.
(gasps) (both gag)
OH, UH, BETTY. YES?
DANIEL'S BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
HE WANTS YOU TO MEET THE NEW ASSISTANT. OH! HE PICKED SOMEONE?
YAY! IS IT GAVIN?
I DON'T THINK SO.
♪♪♪
HI. ARE YOU DANIEL'S NEW ASSISTANT?
(chuckles) LEXIE,
LIKE, "SEXY."
OH, I SEE.
UM, WELL, I'M BETTY... (chuckles) LIKE... CONFETTI!
I'M DANIEL'S OLD ASSISTANT,
SO I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO HELP YOU.
I CAN--I CAN SHOW YOU HOW THINGS WORK. I KNOW HOW THINGS WORK.
I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE. (chuckles)
HEY, BETTY.
OH, DID YOU MEET LEXIE YET? "LEXIE, LIKE, 'SEXY'"? YES, WE MET.
DANIEL. WHAT?
WHAT HAPPENED TO GAVIN?
OF ALL THE PEOPLE H.R. SENT OVER...
THAT'S WHO YOU PICKED?
LOOKS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
I-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN THINK THAT.
I'M A WIDOWER, BETTY. YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T PICK HER BECAUSE SHE'S FRIENDLY.
WELL, MAYBE SHE'S JUST INTIMIDATED BY YOU.
I MEAN, I TOLD HER SHE HAD SOME PRETTY BIG SHOES TO FILL.
AND...
SHE NAILED THE INTERVIEW-- TOTALLY HELPFUL.
LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE SHE'S PRETTY
DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S NOT QUALIFIED.
YOU SHOULD KNOW, JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS COVER WORKS BOTH WAYS.
I'M SURE IF YOU THINK SHE'S CAPABLE,
THEN SHE'LL BE GREAT.
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
CAN'T I GO OUT TO GET SOME FROZEN YOGURT? IF YOU CAN GO A COUPLE WEEKS
WITHOUT MURDERING ANY BOYFRIENDS.
(sighs) DID YOU TALK TO ANYONE? YOU KNOW ME--JUST GET ONE FROZEN YOGURT IN ME,
AND I JUST TELL ALL MY SECRETS.
IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU? (sighs)
YOU WILL NOT BE LAUGHING WHEN WE'RE BOTH IN JAIL, YOUNG LADY.
MOM! IT WAS 20 MINUTES.
I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING--STAY PUT.
NICO, AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU--
BOARDING SCHOOL IN FRANCE,
TAKING YOU IN WHEN YOU NEEDED HELP?
I'M SORRY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
BECAUSE FROM NOW ON,
YOU DON'T LEAVE MY SIDE.
(Justin) THAT'S IT.
NOW YOU JUST TYPE IN YOUR PASSWORD RIGHT THERE.
AND THAT'S HOW YOU CHECK YOUR E-MAIL. SO... WHAT'S MY PASSWORD AGAIN?
(Justin, Hilda and Betty) "IGNACIO RULES."
JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT. (clicks computer keys)
HEY, LOOK AT THAT! GUESS PAPI'S MORE MODERN THAN YOU THOUGHT.
YES, CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE MASTERED E-MAIL.
WELCOME TO 1993.
HEY. I THINK IT'S VERY COOL
THAT YOU'RE LEARNING TO USE THE COMPUTER.
YOU ARE IN A MOOD.
♪♪♪
(sighs) (whispers) WHAT?
IT'S ARCHIE. I NEVER GET TO SEE HIM ANYMORE.
HE'S TOO BUSY CAMPAIGNING AND CANVASSING THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'LL TELL YOU ONE NEIGHBORHOOD HE ISN'T CANVASSING,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. (groans)
WHAT? IT'S PASSION. WITHOUT IT, RELATIONSHIPS FIZZLE,
AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO US.
AY. MAYBE HE'S... NOT ATTRACTED TO ME ANYMORE.
WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? LOOK AT YOU.
YEAH, THAT WOULD BE PRETTY CRAZY. (laughs)
MIJA, MORE COFFEE? YOU'RE GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY I'M GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH.
I HAVE ALL THIS WORK TO DO,
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WRITING MY ARTICLE. JUST HAVE THE PEOPLE BELOW YOU DO IT.
ISN'T THAT WHAT EDITORS DO? JUSTIN, I'M A JUNIOR EDITOR.
THERE'S NO ONE LOWER THAN ME IN MY DEPARTMENT. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE LOWER THAN YOU.
IN JUNIOR HIGH, THE DRAMA KIDS SEEMED LIKE
THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOD CHAIN, BUT WE WEREN'T.
THERE WAS ALWAYS THE BAND AND THE RENAISSANCE FAIR NERDS. I DID RENAISSANCE FAIR!
I WAS ONE OF THE QUEEN'S DANCERS.
SO, BETTY, WHO'S BELOW YOU?
THERE IS A POOL OF ASSISTANTS THAT JUNIOR EDITORS CAN USE,
BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE I CAN'T HANDLE MY OWN WORK.
MIJA, IT IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS TO ASK FOR HELP.
♪♪♪
MARGARET, I KNOW YOU HATE YOUR LIFE,
BUT DOES EVERYTHING YOU PICK OUT HAVE TO BE SO DREARY?
DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT.
GREAT PEP TALK. EVERYONE LOOKED REAL SCARED.
HEY, WILLIE, CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING?
I JUST RAN INTO TALL PAUL FROM STYLES,
WHO WAS TALKING TO FAT PAT FROM ACCOUNTING,
WHO HEARD ON GOOD AUTHORITY FROM GAY RENEE-- OH, JUST SAY IT!
HARTLEY AND CLAIRE WERE HAVING DINNER WITH
ISABELLE BESSET LAST NIGHT. (inhales deeply)
WORD IS, SHE'S REPLACING YOU.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHAT'S THE PLAN, BLACKMAIL?
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET DIRT ON ISABELLE FOR YEARS.
SHE'S CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.
(grunts) THEN WHAT?
HARTLEY AND CLAIRE THINK YOU'RE THE ENEMY! MARC!
WE WILL JUST HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM THAT I'M NOT THE ENEMY.
REMIND THEM I'M A TEAM PLAYER. (chuckles)
YOU'RE SERIOUS?
YES! I CAN TURN ON THE CHARM IF I WANT.
WHILE I'M ON SHAKY GROUND,
IT WOULDN'T KILL ME TO KISS CLAIRE'S BONY ASS.
SO...
YOUR PLAN IS...
BEING NICE?
YES.
I'M JUST GONNA GIVE YOU SOME SPACE...
AND SOME TIME, SO YOU CAN HATCH UP SOMETHING ELSE.
(chuckles)
SPEAKING OF THINGS YOU'VE HATCHED, NICO IS HERE.
YES. I BROUGHT HER IN TO LEARN ABOUT FASHION.
GO GRAB HER A CHAIR. SHE'LL BE QUIET AS A MOUSE.
OH. OKAY. SURE.
SO, NICO, WHAT YA BEEN DOING SINCE BOARDING SCHOOL?
WHAT BRINGS YOU BACK?
WILHELMINA? (gasps)
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT. DON'T BE SORRY. BEING SORRY TAKES TIME.
JUST SPIT IT OUT. WELL, UM, I'VE REQUESTED AN ASSISTANT FROM THE POOL,
BUT H.R. SAYS YOU HAVE TO SIGN OFF ON IT.
BUT YOU NEVER STAY WITH YOUR MOM FOR THIS LONG.
(Marc) IS IT BOY TROUBLE?
DIDN'T YOU MEET SOME GUY BACKPACKING THROUGH EUROPE?
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM?
YOU NEED AN ASSISTANT? DONE. WALK THIS WAY.
REALLY? WOW, THANK YOU.
I HAVE SO MUCH EDITORIAL WORK. I HAD NO IDEA THAT...
OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE... WALKING. WE'RE HERE.
MARC, I NEED TO REASSIGN YOU FOR A FEW DAYS.
REASSIGN ME? OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T...
YES. BETTY HERE NEEDS AN ASSISTANT,
AND YOU ARE IT.
♪♪♪
I CANNOT BE BETTY'S ASSISTANT! IT GOES AGAINST
THE NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS. S-SHE-DICULOUS! I'VE MADE MY DECISION, MARC.
(under breath) IS THIS BECAUSE I TOLD YOU ABOUT
A CERTAIN FRENCH EDITOR WHO MIGHT BE REPLACING YOU?
(normal voice) DO NOT PUNISH THE MESSENGER, WILLIE! IT'S A GOOD LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR NICO TO MAN THE DESK.
BESIDES, YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING
THAT YOU WANT MORE EDITORIAL RESPONSIBILITY,
AND BETTY NEEDS HELP WITH A FEATURE.
UM... YOU KNOW WHAT? I-I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF.
BETTY, YOU MIGHT'VE BEEN A STAR ASSISTANT, BUT AS AN EDITOR,
YOU HAVE FAILED TO PRODUCE ONE SINGLE ITEM FOR THIS MAGAZINE.
YOU WANT HELP? HERE IT IS.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT.
BETTY'S IN CHARGE, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUT!
(mouths words) I SAID GET OUT!
(Marc grunts)
VERY MATURE. JUST BECAUSE I'M YOUR TEMPORARY ASSISTANT
DOES NOT MEAN I'M GETTING YOU COFFEE. GOT IT?
I COULD'VE BEEN AN EDITOR AT "V"! "V"?
A CERTAIN MAGAZINE WHOSE NAME SHALL NOT BE SAID--
RHYMES WITH "ROGUE."
DANTE NELLI JR. HIMSELF, OFFERED ME A JOB--
DANTE NELLI JR.!
A MAN SO FABULOUS, HE WEARS A CAFTAN EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.
AND I SAID, "NO, THANKS, DANTE. I'D RATHER BE AT 'MODE,'
DOING GRUNT WORK FOR BETTY SUAREZ." YOU KNOW WHAT, MARC?! THIS IS AWKWARD FOR ME, TOO,
BUT I COULD ACTUALLY USE YOUR HELP.
I NEED TO TRIM A HUNDRED WORDS FROM THE TRENDS COLUMN.
MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME WITH THAT. I COULD DO THAT IN MY SLEEP!
HEY, LEXIE. I'M GONNA POP DOWN TO THE CAFETERIA
TO HAVE LUNCH WITH MY FRIEND NATALIE. (singsongy) I'M ON THE PHONE.
(normal voice) WHAT WAS IT YOU WERE SAYING? ANYWAY... OH, UH, OKAY.
UH, ANYWAY, I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR OR SO, OKAY?
SORRY. MY NEW BOSS-- YABBERING ON ABOUT SOMETHING.
MOTHER, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR SUNGLASSES?
IT'S EMBARRASSING.
(sighs) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DRAGGED ME DOWN HERE.
WHAT KIND OF SAD PEOPLE EAT IN CAFETERIAS?
HELLO, HELLO!
WILHELMINA. WELL, WELL.
SCOOCH OVER THERE A SECOND, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? THANK YOU.
WELL, CAL, CLAIRE. WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.
THIS IS MY DAUGHTER NICO. HELLO, NICO.
HELLO. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, DEAR.
SURPRISED TO SEE YOU DOWN HERE, WILHELMINA.
WHAT, ARE YOU EATING AMONGST THE COMMONERS? (laughing)
YOU'RE TOO FUNNY.
I WOULD BUST A RIB IF I HADN'T HAD THEM ALL REMOVED. (laughs)
UH, COULD WE TALK BUSINESS FOR JUST A MINUTE? WE LIKE THE NEW YORK ISSUE,
BUT WE ARE A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT SALES.
NOW CAL HAS AN IDEA, SO TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND ABOUT THIS.
(thinking) UGH. GET ON WITH IT, YOU OLD BAG.
WELL, UH, EVERY BOOK OR MOVIE I SEE THESE DAYS
IS ABOUT VAMPIRES.
IT'S JUST-- IT'S A TOTAL CASH COW.
NOW WHAT IF WE PUT
A VAMPIRE ON THE COVER OF "MODE"?
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
HMM. (chuckles)
SO THE NEW YORK THEME BECOMES GOTHIC GOTHAM.
KEEP THE FASHION, BUT GIVE OUR COVER GIRL SOME FANGS.
WORST IDEA EVER.
OH, WAIT. IT'S MY TURN TO TALK.
I LOVE IT! (laughs)
YOU DO? OH, CAL AND I THOUGHT
WE MIGHT GET SOME PUSH BACK FROM YOU ON THIS. I KNOW A GREAT IDEA WHEN I HEAR ONE.
WILHELMINA SLATER IS
AND WILL ALWAYS BE A TEAM PLAYER.
(mouth full) I AM CRAZY FOR TATER TOTS. YOU WANT ONE?
UH, I DON'T KNOW IF THAT CAN BE CALLED GRIEF EATING.
YOU'RE IN WAY TOO GOOD OF A MOOD.
(normal voice) YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM.
I'VE BEEN GOING TO HEAR THIS GUY
GIVE THESE INSPIRATIONAL TALKS, AND...
YEAH? I DON'T KNOW. HE'S KINDA GREAT.
WOW. HE TEACHES YOU HOW TO COPE WITH ALL SORTS OF STUFF--
ADDICTION, DIVORCE. MM!
IF YOU'RE CURIOUS, THERE'S ACTUALLY A TALK THIS AFTERNOON
ABOUT LOSING LOVED ONES.
OH, WOW.
"THE COMMUNITY OF THE PHOENIX.
RISE UP FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR LIFE AND SOAR."
OH. YOU THINK IT'S CHEESY, NEW AGE-Y?
UM... (laughs) I KNOW. FORGET THE BROCHURE.
IT'S REALLY BEEN HELPING ME WORK THROUGH SOME STUFF.
(scoffs) OKAY, YOU JUST SCOFFED AT ME.
I'M--I'M NOT SCOFFING.
OKAY, WHATEVER. YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.
YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT READY FOR IT ANYWAY.
OH, AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M NOT READY? OF COURSE I'M READY.
BESIDES, WHAT CAN IT HURT, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
(cell phone rings and beeps)
HI, HILDA.
SHH! Hi.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT HALLOWEEN WHEN I WAS THE SEXY SUPERHERO?
REMEMBER ALL OF THOSE GUYS WERE GROPING ME? (laughs)
YEAH. THAT WAS THE YEAR I WENT AS D.N.A. OH, YEAH. THAT WAS SAD.
Anyway, where are those sassy boots?
WHY?
I AM GONNA TEXT ARCHIE A SEXY PICTURE OF MYSELF,
YOU KNOW, PUT A LITTLE AIR IN HIS TIRES.
HILDA...
(whispers) SEXTING?
WHAT? PLEASE. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA BE NUDE.
IT'S GONNA BE TASTEFUL-- PG-13.
I'M NOT GIVING AWAY THE WHOLE FRUIT BASKET, BETTY,
JUST THE NECTARINES.
CLASSY. THE BOOTS ARE IN THE ATTIC. I GOTTA GO. BYE.
BYE. (cell phone camera shutter clicks)
WHILE YOU WERE ON YOUR PERSONAL CALL,
I FINISHED THE TRENDS COLUMN.
OH.
(slurps) YOU CUT THE WHOLE INTRO?
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T MISS IT. GOOD IDEA.
GREAT IDEA.
(groans)
WHAT?
NOTHING. (chuckles) IT'S JUST--
IT'S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO WATCH YOU GET PROMOTED ABOVE ME
WITHOUT HAVING ANY KNOWLEDGE OF FASHION,
BUT NOW I HAVE TO HAVE YOUR INEPTITUDE RUBBED IN MY FACE. YOU KNOW WHAT, MARC?
I'M NOT GONNA KEEP HAVING THIS ARGUMENT WITH YOU.
I KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT, BUT DANIEL AND WILHELMINA
PICKED ME FOR A REASON. YEAH, DANIEL'S NAME IS ON THE BUILDING,
AND YOU TWO ARE LOVAHS. YOU KNOW, I HAVE HALF A MIND TO MARCH INTO DANIEL'S OFFICE
RIGHT NOW AND PUT THIS ISSUE TO REST ONCE AND FOR ALL.
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
WHEN DANIEL SAYS THEY GAVE ME THE JOB BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT
I WOULD BE A BETTER EDITOR THAN YOU. OKAY. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HIM SAY THOSE WORDS.
FINE. FINE. FINE.
NO, UM, AHEM. YOU'RE BOTH SO QUALIFIED. IT WAS, UM-- JUST GIVE US THE TRUTH.
YOUR VOTE TRUMPED WILHELMINA'S, RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU'RE A MEADE.
OR WAS IT SIMPLY THAT I HAD MORE POTENTIAL AS AN EDITOR?
IT WAS A VERY, UH, HARD DECISION FOR US TO MAKE.
WHY ARE YOU SPARING THEIR FEELINGS, DANIEL?
WE TOSSED A COIN.
AND YOU GOT YOUR JOB, BETTY, BECAUSE YOU WERE TAILS.
NOW YOU KNOW I WANTED YOU IN THIS JOB.
BUT THE COIN TOSS WAS THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK THE IMPASSE.
I KNOW. I KNOW. IT'S JUST-- THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME GOING
WAS THE FEELING THAT I ACTUALLY DESERVE THIS.
BETTY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
YOU DO DESERVE THIS. BELIEVE ME.
YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW.
GOOD. LOOK, I HAVE TO RUN TO MY LAYOUT MEETING.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT? YEAH. YES.
OKAY.
HEY, TAILS. I'M SO HAPPY THAT WE CLEARED THAT UP.
YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME. YOU'RE JUST LUCKY.
YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN TAILS, THE BUTTOCKS OF A QUARTER.
OH, HEY, GUYS. BETTY, HOW'S YOUR ARTICLE GOING?
GREAT. I'VE ALREADY SET UP A BUNCH OF INTERVIEWS
WITH SOME OF THE TOUGHEST WORKING PEOPLE IN THE CITY,
AND I'M GOING DOWN THERE TO SEE FIRST-HAND. GREAT, AND WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, WHY DON'T YOU SEE
IF THEY'LL LET YOU ACTUALLY DO SOME OF THE JOBS? OH, OKAY. LIKE A FIRST-PERSON PIECE?
YEAH, AND YOU SHOULD WEAR
ALL THE HUMILIATING CLOTHES THAT THEY WEAR,
TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES OF IT TO DOCUMENT THE WHOLE THING. UM...
(Matt) THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, MARC. SEE, SOME PEOPLE JUST KNOW HOW TO THINK LIKE AN EDITOR.
CAN YOU GET MY MESSAGES FOR ME, PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
HELLO, MR. CANDIDATE. DID YOU GET THE PICTURE THAT I SENT YOU?
YES, I GOT IT, AND SO DID EVERYONE ELSE. WHAT?
YOU HIT "REPLY ALL" TO ONE OF MY CAMPAIGN E-MAILS, HILDA.
THAT PICTURE WENT TO MY ENTIRE "DISTRO" LIST. OH, MY GOD!
HELLO! HEY, HILDA. Hilda, this is the absolute worst thing
that could happen at this point in my campaign.
This is terrible. CHECKING MY E-MAIL!
ARCHIE. ARCHIE, YOU GOTTA GET THAT E-MAIL BACK.
I'M NOT DECENT. I CAN'T GET IT BACK. AND NOW EVERYONE,
INCLUDING THE KIDS I VOLUNTEER WITH,
ARE OPENING UP THEIR E-MAILS
AND FINDING A PICTURE OF YOUR BOOBS!
(typing) IGNACIO RULES.
I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, OKAY? JUST MEET ME LATER, OKAY?
(whispers) OKAY.
HEY! I GOT SOMETHING FROM YOU. IT'S A PICTURE.
WHERE ARE MY READING GLASSES? NO!
HEY, LEXIE. HOW ABOUT A CUP OF COFFEE?
OH, YEAH, I'D LOVE ONE. THANKS.
OH, UH, OKAY.
FINISHED YOUR FACT-CHECKING. THANKS.
SO, UH, YOU'RE GETTING HER COFFEE NOW? YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING OUT SO WELL WITH LEXIE...
MM. WHICH IS WEIRD, BECAUSE I'M USUALLY
SUCH A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER. YEAH.
I PICKED YOU, DIDN'T I? UH, NO, NOT EXACTLY. YOUR FATHER PICKED ME,
PRECISELY SO THAT YOU WOULDN'T DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO,
WHICH IS HIRE AN ASSISTANT THAT YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH.
REALLY? IS THAT WHY YOU HIRED ME?
HEY, LEXIE.
YOU'RE DISGUSTING. NO, NO. NO.
(whispers) OH, MY GOD. I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS RIGHT THERE.
(normal voice) DO YOU WANT ME TO GO SAY SOMETHING TO HER?
NO, YOU'RE BUSY. MY PROBLEM.
I CAN HANDLE IT.
(groans)
(typing)
LEXIE, I REALLY NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
YOU HEARD SOMETHING OUT OF CONTEXT,
AND I REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW,
THAT'S NOT THE REASON I HIRED YOU.
I MEAN, I PROMISE YOU, THE MORE YOU GET TO KNOW ME,
THE MORE YOU'LL REALIZE I'M NOT JUST LIKE THAT, OKAY? (heart beating)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? NO, NO. NO.
YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GRAB ME? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I WAS TRYING TO REACH FOR YOUR SHOULDER.
YOU DIRTY OLD MAN.
NO, NO. S--I'M S--I'M-- LEXIE, I'M SORRY.
LEXIE. OLD?
WH--(sighs)
TAILS! WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?
COME ON. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DO
THE TEN WORST JOBS IN NEW YORK CITY. (camera shutter clicks)
(The Futureheads) ♪ THE CITY'S GETTING BIGGER ♪
♪ BUT EVERYBODY SLOWLY MOVES AWAY ♪
♪ YOUR ACCENT GETS THICKER ♪
♪ THE BLOOD IS GETTING THINNER EVERY DAY ♪
♪ AT LEAST--AT LEAST THE WORD IS ON THE STREETS ♪
♪ AHH ♪ ♪ THE DUST WILL NEVER SETTLE ♪
♪ AHH ♪ ♪ WE'RE ALWAYS ON THE RUN ♪
♪ AHH ♪ ♪ THE DUST WILL NEVER SETTLE ♪
♪ THE WORK IS NEVER ♪
♪ THE WORK IS NEVER DONE ♪
(Indian music playing)
MR. BADLANI? HI.
I'M BETTY SUAREZ. WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
I'M HERE TO BE YOUR HOT DOG HOSTESS.
"TAJ MA HOT DOG.
DELICIOUS MEAT SUBSTITUTE HOT DOGS."
SOUNDS TASTY.
THANK YOU. NOW I KNOW IT'S CHILLY TODAY,
BUT, UH, IT CAN GET MIGHTY STICKY INSIDE THAT HOT DOG SUIT.
I'M SORRY. THERE'S AN ACTUAL HOT DOG SUIT?
OH, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS DAY COULDN'T GET SWEETER.
NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO BE THE WIENER,
AND WHICH ONE IS GOING TO BE THE BUN? WHAT?
IT'S A 2-MAN COSTUME. YOU CAN'T HAVE THE WIENER WITHOUT THE BUN.
OH! YOU HEARD THE MAN.
NO. YOU WEAR THE STUPID COSTUMES. IT'S YOUR ARTICLE.
YOU'RE THE EDITOR. YOU'RE RIGHT, MARC. I AM THE EDITOR.
AND WHILE I'VE BEEN DOING THE HARDEST JOBS IN NEW YORK
ALL DAY LONG,
YOU HAVE BEEN DOING NOTHING AT ALL.
BUT YOU HEARD WILHELMINA. I'M IN CHARGE.
SO SUIT UP, BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS,
AND YOU'RE THE BUN.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU LOOK GREAT. (chuckles)
BUT, PLEASE, DON'T EAT IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS.
A HOT DOG EATING A HOT DOG? IT FREAKS THEM OUT.
(hot dog thuds)
OKAY, WELL, WHAT DO I DO?
UH, GREET CUSTOMERS? HAND OUT SOME COUPONS?
THAT DOESN'T SEEM SO HARD.
(thud) OW!
AH, SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS.
NOW WHERE IS MY BUN?
BUN! WE NEED YOU!
CAN'T HAVE A HOT DOG WITHOUT A BUN.
AWW!
THERE YOU ARE!
UNLIKE YOU, BETTY, WHO WEARS RIDICULOUS GETUPS
ON A DAILY BASIS,
I HAVE A REPUTATION TO PROTECT.
COME ON, MARC. YOU LOOK ADORABLE--GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT.
(Indian music playing) WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
OH, IT'S THE HOT DOG MUSIC.
COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU THE DANCE STEPS.
HMM.
IT STILL DOESN'T READ "VAMPIRE" TO ME.
MAYBE...
SHARPER FANGS,
AND, UH...
MAYBE WE SHOULD ADD SOME BLOOD TO THE FRONT OF THE DRESS.
OH, I AGREE. GOOD IDEA, CLAIRE. (chuckles)
(lowered voice) DON'T YOU DARE.
(gasps)
(whispering) NICO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE. I--
DON'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS? MOM, DO NOT GET ALL PISSY WITH ME
JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE THIS VAMPIRE IDEA.
GOD, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. (normal voice) ACTUALLY, IT IS. I'M HANGING ON BY A THREAD,
DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO KEEP MY JOB.
BECAUSE WITHOUT MY JOB, I CAN'T HELP YOU. IT'S ALL FOR YOU.
SO I'M MAKING NICE,
EVEN THOUGH THIS VAMPIRE SHOOT IS RIDICULOUS. RIDICULOUS?
WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVING THE CONCEPT?
I DO. I AM 100% ONBOARD.
TEAM PLAYER!
WE RAN THIS IDEA BY YOU BECAUSE WE WANTED YOUR BLUNT OPINION.
WELL, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOU MY HONEST OPINION,
KNOWING THAT ISABELLE BESSET CAN REPLACE ME ANY MINUTE?
I HAD A FEELING YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD ABOUT THAT.
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH? YES.
THIS IS JUVENILE.
YOU PUT THIS ON THE COVER, AND IT DAMAGES THE BRAND.
"MODE" DOES NOT FOLLOW TRENDS. WE SET THEM.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL TALK TO CAL.
YOU'RE AGREEING WITH ME?
YES.
AND NOW YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME.
TRIM THE BUDGET.
START BY CUTTING TEN PAGES OF CONTENT.
OH, AND, WILHELMINA,
JUST DO YOUR JOB...
WHILE YOU STILL HAVE IT.
(Indian music playing)
OKAY, 5, 6, 7, 8.
♪ EAT ME, I'M A HOT DOG ♪
♪ AND I'M A WHOLE WHEAT BUN ♪ ♪ NOW IT'S TIME TO EAT ♪
♪ THE GREATEST TREAT UNDER THE SUN ♪
AAH!
OH! (groans)
AS MUCH AS I LOVE GIANT WIENERS FLYING AT ME,
THIS IS A LITTLE OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO CATCH ME, MARC. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T COUNT.
YOU WERE TWO FULL MEASURES EARLY. OH, NOW I CAN'T COUNT?
NO, YOU CAN'T COUNT AND YOU CAN'T DANCE
AND YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T EDIT A FASHION MAGAZINE.
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, MARC?
YOU KNOW, IF THE COIN TOSS WOULD HAVE GONE THE OTHER WAY,
IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN PROMOTED,
I WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN HAPPY FOR YOU.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME? WHY SHOULD I BE HAPPY FOR YOU?
YEAH, OF COURSE THE COIN LANDED ON YOU.
YOU'RE, LIKE, THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.
YOU HAVE A GREAT JOB, GREAT FAMILY,
MULTIPLE ATTRACTIVE MEN HAVE WANTED TO DATE YOU--
GOD KNOWS WHY. (sighs)
I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK.
I AM ALWAYS THE BUN.
COME ON, MARC. IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
DON'T "HAPPY BETTY" ME.
YOU WANT TO TALK THANKLESS JOBS IN NEW YORK CITY?
TRY BEING WILHELMINA SLATER'S GOFER FOR FIVE YEARS.
AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS, I COULD HAVE BEEN EDITOR
AT THE MAGAZINE WHOSE NAME SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED.
I COULD HAVE BEEN PROTéGé
TO THE MOST FASHIONABLE MAN IN PUBLISHING--
MY STYLE ICON, DANTE NELLI JR.
YES?
(gasps)
YOU GRABBED HER BOOB?
NO, I DIDN'T GRAB IT. I JUST--I SORT OF--
I GRAZED IT. DANIEL!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I WAS GOING TO APOLOGIZE.
I DON'T CARE HOW BAD AN ASSISTANT SHE IS.
IF YOU GRABBED, GRAZED OR LOOKED SIDEWAYS AT THAT BOOB,
YOU CANNOT FIRE HER.
YOU'LL HAVE A BIG LAWSUIT ON YOUR HANDS.
(sighs)
I AM SO, SO SORRY.
I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.
THE LAST THING I WANTED TO DO WAS HURT YOU.
I JUST--I DIDN'T THINK-- WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, HILDA. YOU DIDN'T THINK.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN,
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT PHOTOS LIKE THIS DO TO CAMPAIGNS?
THIS IS A BIG EMBARRASSMENT FOR ME! NOBODY COULD BE AS EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS AS ME.
IT'S MY PICTURE PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT. WELL, THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?
YOU'VE BEEN SO BUSY LATELY.
I JUST WANTED US TO BE... CLOSER, YOU KNOW?
I WANTED YOU TO BE EXCITED ABOUT US AGAIN.
I'M SORRY IF I'M AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOU.
AH, I'M SURPRISED YOU REMEMBERED ME.
OF COURSE I DO.
IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT SOMEONE REFUSES A JOB FROM US,
BUT YOU SAID YOU HAD TO PURSUE YOUR DREAM,
WHICH APPARENTLY IS SELLING HOT DOGS?
OH, UH, UH, NO, I DON'T-- I DON'T WORK HERE.
UM... I-I'M STILL AT "MODE."
THEY FINALLY MADE YOU EDITOR?
OH. STILL PICKING UP WILHELMINA'S DRY CLEANING.
ACTUALLY, UM, MARC WAS SO VALUABLE AT "MODE"
THAT WE JUST ADDED HIM TO THE FEATURES DEPARTMENT.
WE'RE DOING A STORY RIGHT NOW ON THE HARDEST JOBS IN NEW YORK.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE IN THESE CRAZY COSTUMES.
FEATURES?
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE TO STAY CURRENT
WITH UP-AND-COMING YOUNG EDITORS.
BRUNCH SOMETIME? HAVE YOUR ASSISTANT SET IT UP.
ACTUALLY, SHE'S NOT-- I WOULD BE HAPPY TO.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
I KNOW.
THANKS.
I JUST FIGURED YOUR WERE DUE FOR A CHANGE IN LUCK.
(cell phone alert chimes)
IT'S YOU.
"EMERGENCY EDITORS' MEETING AT 4:00 P.M."
THAT'S IN SEVEN MINUTES. WELL, WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.
I'LL GET THE CAB.
YOU GO BACK TO MR. BADLANI, TELL HIM AND GET OUR CLOTHES.
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HOLD THE DOOR!
THANK YOU. COME ON. HURRY! WHERE'S MY CLOTHES?
UM, I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY TRASHED THEM. WHAT?
IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS SORT OF HATING YOU AT THE TIME. (scoffs)
HERE. LET ME JUST-- DON'T HELP ME.
OH, BETTY, DON'T BE LIKE THAT. YOU KNOW, EVERY SINGLE TIME
I THINK THERE'S A GLIMMER OF A DECENT PERSON IN THERE,
YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO PROVE ME WRONG.
AND NOW I GET TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE
DRESSED LIKE A HOT DOG,
WHERE EVERYBODY ALREADY THINKS I'M A JOKE. THANK YOU.
CLOSE THE DOOR, PLEASE.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT OUR LOVED ONES ARE GONE?
THEY'RE WITH US ALWAYS.
AND IF WE DENY THAT, IT'LL ONLY PROLONG OUR PAIN.
SO I SAY REJECT ACCEPTANCE.
(scoffs and chuckles)
YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME?
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, DO YOU?
NO, HE DOESN'T. YES, I DO.
I'M OFFERING YOU
A CHANCE AT AN ELEVATED RELATIONSHIP
WITH SOMEONE YOU LOST.
BUT YOU CAN ONLY ACHIEVE THAT CONNECTION
WHEN YOU'RE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.
AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE HONEST WITH ME.
OR CAN YOU?
DID YOU WANT TO BE HERE? FINE. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU JUST HEALED A PART OF YOURSELF.
(scoffs)
YOU'RE SCOFFING AT THAT?
I WASN'T SCOFFING. HE WAS. HE WAS SCOFFING. HE'S BEEN DOING IT ALL DAY.
(whispers) STOP IT.
WHAT? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.
(normal voice) FINE. YES, I WAS SCOFFING.
BUT COME ON. HONESTY HEALS?
UM, DON'T YOU THINK THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE SIMPLISTIC?
WELL... PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS UNDERESTIMATED
THE POWER OF SIMPLICITY.
I TELL YOU WHAT.
GO AND TRY BEING HONEST
IN YOUR DAILY LIFE...
EXACTLY WHEN YOU THINK YOU SHOULDN'T BE.
AND IF I'M RIGHT, AND IT FREES YOU UP IN SOME WAY, COME BACK.
AND IF IT DOESN'T, FINE.
ACCEPT THAT THE PERSON YOU LOVE IS GONE FOREVER,
AND GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
AMANDA? CAN WE TALK?
I NEED TO, UH, TELL YOU SOMETHING,
AND IT'S KIND OF A SECRET. WHAT IS IT?
COME HERE.
NO. CLOSER.
CLOSER.
MMM. AMANDA. YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD KISSER.
AAH!
IT'S JUST A HOT DOG SUIT. LOOK, DO YOU KNOW
IF THE EDITORS' MEETING STARTED YET? AMANDA?
AAH!
H-HAVE YOU SEEN, UH, HAVE YOU SEEN BETTY?
BETTY?
UH, LISTEN, WILHELMINA IS CUTTING
TEN PAGES OF CONTENT FOR BUDGET.
EVERYONE IS FIGHTING TO KEEP THEIR STUFF IN.
I LOOK RIDICULOUS. C--DO I HAVE TIME TO CHANGE? IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR ARTICLE,
WE BETTER GET IN THERE QUICK.
UH, LEXIE, CAN YOU GET THE BOOK FROM THE ART DEPARTMENT, PLEASE?
GET IT YOURSELF. YOU KNOW HOW TO GRAB THINGS.
WAIT, LEXIE.
LEXIE, HEY.
LET ME BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOU.
THE ONLY REASON I HIRED YOU IS BECAUSE YOU'RE HOT.
(gasps) IN FACT, YOU'RE CRAZY HOT,
AND I'M A MAN WHO LIKES TO LOOK AT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, SO SUE ME.
(laughs) NO, HE'S JUST KIDDING.
NO. NO. DON'T--DON'T SUE HIM.
(lowered voice) DANIEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.
YOU'RE NOT RIGHT FOR THIS JOB, LEXIE.
YOU'RE MEAN, YOU'RE IMPATIENT,
YOU WALK AROUND AS IF EVERYONE'S BELOW YOU,
AND THEY ARE, BECAUSE YOU'RE 20 FEET TALL.
YOU'RE NOT AN ASSISTANT, LEXIE.
I THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A TERRIFIC MODEL.
A MODEL? YEAH. THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE BEHIND A DESK.
YOU SHOULD BE SPRAWLED ACROSS A DESK,
DRESSED IN SKIN-TIGHT COUTURE,
LOOKING HUNGRY ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE.
OH, GOD.
(sighs) YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
I WAS TOO PRETTY TO BE A SECRETARY,
BUT GIRLS ALWAYS HATED ME WHEN I SAID IT OUT LOUD.
OKAY, WELL, SAY IT THEN. SAY, "I AM A MODEL."
I... AM... A MODEL.
OH! THANK YOU.
OH, I HAVE TO GO TELL EVERYONE THAT I KNOW NOW. MM! OH!
OH. WOW.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
HONESTY.
I'M SORRY, JILL.
YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT LEGGINGS ARE PANTS.
YOUR ARTICLE'S OUT. WHO'S NEXT?
WHATEVER THAT IS, IT'S CUT. WAIT. WAIT. DOESN'T BETTY GET A CHANCE
TO DEFEND HER ARTICLE? EVERYBODY ELSE DID. ALL RIGHT. YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS. GO.
UM, OKAY, MY ARTICLE IS ABOUT THE TOUGHEST JOBS IN NEW YORK.
IT SEEMS A LITTLE DRY.
MAYBE IT COULD USE SOME MUSTARD?
(laughs)
UH, I'M SORRY, BETTY. I DON'T SEE IT FITTING IN "MODE."
MAYBE YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
WAIT, WILLIE. BUT YOU COULD BE...
IF WE RECREATED IT FOR YOU.
(whispers) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M SAVING YOU. COME ON. DANCE.
♪ EAT ME, I'M A HOT DOG ♪ ♪ AND I'M A WHOLE WHEAT BUN ♪
♪ NOW IT'S TIME TO EAT THE GREATEST TREAT ♪
♪ UNDER THE SUN ♪ ♪ ADD A SQUIRT OF KETCHUP FOR A WHOLE LOT MORE FUN ♪
♪ EAT ME, I'M A HOT DOG ♪ ♪ EAT ME, I'M A BUN ♪
(Betty and Marc) ♪ EAT US ♪
THAT WAS THE MOST HUMILIATING THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
(pants) YES, THESE UNIFORMS ARE RIDICULOUS,
BUT THIS WHOLE CITY IS FULL OF UNIFORMS.
AND INSPIRATION FOR FASHION
COMES FROM THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES,
LIKE BIKE MESSENGERS IN BRIGHT LYCRA
OR--OR THE EPAULETS ON A POLICEMAN'S UNIFORM.
TRASH COLLECTORS WERE WEARING JUMPSUITS
WAY BEFORE THEY SHOWED UP ON EVERY RUNWAY LAST SPRING.
ALSO LOOK AT THESE FUNNY PICTURES
OF BETTY WEARING THE UNIFORMS.
(beep)
MM. I CAN'T RUN THOSE PICTURES.
THEN INSTEAD OF BETTY, PICTURE A SUPERMODEL.
HMM.
CONGRATULATIONS, BETTY.
YOU'RE IN.
(Indian music playing)
WOW.
I MEAN, LOOK HOW GOOD THESE CAME OUT.
OH, HERE'S LEXIE PULLING THE PEDICAB.
YEP. THE CAMERA LOVES "LEXIE, LIKE SEXY."
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING
HIRING HER AS MY ASSISTANT.
I MEAN, COME ON. THAT WAS SOMETHING OLD DANIEL WOULD DO.
COME ON. YOU MADE A MISTAKE. YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN.
SO WHY IS IT YOU'LL CUT ME SOME SLACK
BUT YOU WON'T DO THE SAME FOR YOURSELF? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN, THIS IS YOUR FIRST PIECE FOR THE MAGAZINE AS EDITOR.
IT'S A GREAT SPREAD. YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE LEAST BIT EXCITED. I'M EXCITED.
BUT?
IT'S JUST--I'VE BEEN FIGHTING AND FIGHTING WITH MARC,
TRYING TO PROVE TO HIM THAT I DESERVE TO BE THE EDITOR.
AND THEN HE'S THE ONE WHO SAVED THE DAY. BETTY, THIS WHOLE PIECE WAS YOUR IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS? YOU'RE GREAT AT THIS.
I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS TAILS.
LOOK, BETTY,
SOME PEOPLE GET THE JOB BECAUSE OF THE FLIP OF A COIN.
SOME PEOPLE GET THE JOB BECAUSE...
THEIR FATHER OWNS THE COMPANY.
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU GET IT.
IT MATTERS WHAT YOU DO WITH IT.
(Latin pop music playing)
HILDA? CAN I BORROW YOU?
THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
(man) AND NOW TO CANDIDATE ARCHIE RODRIGUEZ.
(Archie) NOW A LOT OF HUBBUB HAS BEEN MADE
OVER A CERTAIN PHOTO OF MY GIRLFRIEND,
AND I JUST WISH THE PRESS WOULD STOP SHOWING THIS PHOTO.
AY. THAT'S NOT MY BEST ANGLE. JUST WATCH.
EVERYONE'S BEEN ASKING ME
IF I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO THE VOTERS, BUT THE TRUTH IS,
THE ONLY PERSON WHO DESERVES AN APOLOGY IS MY GIRLFRIEND.
SHE HAD HER PRIVACY INVADED,
AND I'M SORRY I WASN'T MORE UNDERSTANDING.
AS FOR THE VOTERS, THEY'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MY GIRLFRIEND... IS SEXY.
(laughs)
AND I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
ARCHIE! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
YEAH. AND WE GOT THE LATEST POLLS,
AND THANKS TO YOUR SEXY PICTURE, HILDA,
I'M MORE POPULAR THAN EVER. I'M IN THE LEAD.
OH, MY GOD! (gasps) OH, MY GOD! THAT'S FANTASTIC!
OH, MY GOD, ARCHIE, YOU'RE GONNA WIN. (laughs)
(laughs) WAIT. NOW?
I GOT CUSTOMERS.
THEY CAN WAIT.
MM. (laughs)
(singsongy) MRS. RAMIREZ!
I'LL BE BACK IN 11 MINUTES!
I BROUGHT US A TREAT.
(singsongy) FROZEN YOGURT!
(singsongy) CHOCOLATE! MY FAVORITE!
(normal voice) MINE, TOO.
(sniffs) MMM!
(clicks tongue)
FROZEN YOGURT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
MAMA IS KEEPING HER JOB.
ISABELLE BESSET TURNED IT DOWN,
AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME, I DON'T KNOW WHY.
YOU WOULD THINK THAT "MODE" WOULD BE A STEP UP
FROM FRENCH "ELLE." WELL, I HEARD SHE GOT A CALL
FROM AN EDITOR AT FRENCH "MODE,"
SOMETHING ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT CLAIRE AND HARTLEY ARE
TO WORK FOR. MM. I DON'T REMEMBER BRIBING ANYONE FROM "MODE" FRANCE.
BONJOUR.
POURRAIS JE PARLER AVEC ISABELLE BESSET,
S'IL VOUS PLAîT?
YOU?
YOU DEVIOUS LITTLE MINX.
I GUESS ALL THOSE YEARS
AT FRENCH BOARDING SCHOOL PAID OFF.
MOM, I'M JUST SO SORRY ABOUT DRAGGING YOU INTO ALL THIS,
AND I FIGURED, AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR ME, I OWED YOU.
OH, NICO.
MY DARLING DAUGHTER, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.
AND I HAVE A FEELING
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
(laughs)
(camera shutter clicks)
♪♪♪
OH. I THOUGHT YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER GET ME COFFEE.
DON'T GET TOO EXCITED. I PUT IT ON YOUR CARD.
OH, I WANT TO SHOW YOU THE FINAL EDIT OF THE ARTICLE.
YOU KNOW, BETTY, YOU'RE A GREAT WRITER AND ALL,
BUT I'M NOT EXACTLY IN A READING MOOD RIGHT NOW.
CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THE SUMMARY? CAN YOU JUST READ THE TOP?
♪♪♪
YOU'RE SHARING YOUR BYLINE WITH ME?
♪♪♪
IN FIVE YEARS AT "MODE," I'VE NEVER HAD A BYLINE.
WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME?
EITHER ONE OF US COULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS PROMOTION.
AND RIGHT BEFORE DANIEL TOLD ME,
HE HAD THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE AND I THOUGHT,
THAT'S IT. THEY'RE GIVING IT TO MARC. I WAS SURE OF IT.
I MEAN, I SAY I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY FOR YOU,
BUT... (sighs) I DON'T KNOW.
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY.
♪♪♪
MM.
WERE YOU JUST ABOUT TO HUG ME? SHUT UP. NO.
YOU WERE ABOUT TO HUG ME!
OKAY. HA HA. LISTEN, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS BYLINE?
SHOULDN'T MY NAME COME FIRST? DON'T PUSH IT.
♪♪♪